A way out of the stalemate: Why a property sale often has a liberating effect
Disagreement over the use of a shared property can often prolong the separation process for years and make it more expensive. As the well-known German cabaret artist Gerhard Polt aptly said to one of his characters: “You certainly won’t build a house after a legal dispute – but the lawyer will.”
So what advantages can an orderly property sale bring?
Creating clear relationships:
A sale creates clear, irreversible conditions and removes the potential for future conflict once and for all. This consistent cut can often have a very liberating effect and lay the foundations for a new future.
Reduce the potential for conflict:
Alongside joint children, the joint property is the biggest source of conflict in a separation or divorce. Once the house or flat has been sold, there are no more endless discussions about building maintenance costs, mortgages, mortgage interest and increases or decreases in value.
Emotional liberation:
Physical separation from the past makes it easier to focus on the new future.
Independence for both sides:
Both parties can use the proceeds from the sale to concentrate on their individual life paths and realise new living or life concepts
Start-up capital for new beginnings:
In many regions of Switzerland, property prices have risen sharply and many separation properties can be sold, sometimes for a substantial profit. This equity often serves as a downer for long-suffering former couples and makes it easier for them to start their own future.
How to structure the sales process correctly in the event of separation or divorce
If you decide to sell your property after a separation, you should approach the process strategically from the outset. A clear division of tasks, professional support and transparent communication are among the most important building blocks. This way, not only one party benefits, but both sides can emerge stronger from the situation.
1. make a joint decision
Before the first prospective buyer arrives on the doorstep, you should talk openly about your goals, wishes and fears. If everyone is clear that the focus is on a quick and fair sale, possible points of friction can be eliminated in advance. This common basis makes all further steps easier.
2. synchronised external communication
If you want to sell a property, you should present a cohesive image to the outside world – even if the relationship has already broken down. Prospective buyers and estate agents expect clear information about the property and the terms of the sale without being drawn into internal disagreements. Agreements on how to answer questions about the house or the divorce are therefore helpful. If both ex-partners have the same message, this looks professional and creates trust. Potential buyers are not confused by contradictory statements, which speeds up the sales process considerably and nips disputes between the ex-partners in the bud. Ultimately, a common line to the outside world is a sign that both sides are taking responsibility and are interested in the smoothest possible conclusion
3. involve professional help
Especially when emotions are running high after a separation and communication between the ex-partners is not always smooth, a neutral and empathetic mediator can provide valuable services. An experienced estate agent helps to realistically assess the value of the property, choose the right marketing strategy and confidently conduct viewings and price negotiations. In this way, emotional pitfalls are avoided and an optimal sales price is achieved.
With professional support, potential misunderstandings and additional conflicts between the ex-partners are minimised, as many decisions or communication steps are handled by a neutral party. In an already stressful situation, this improves the relationship of trust with potential buyers and achieves the goal – a fair price for both parties – more quickly and with less stress.
4. clear allocation of roles during the transaction
Especially in an emotionally charged situation such as a separation, it is helpful to manage the property sale process with clear responsibilities. Instead of both ex-partners having an equal say in all steps (and thus provoking potential friction), it is a good idea to define a clear division of tasks in advance:
- A fixed contact person for the estate agent:
If one person takes over contact with the estate agent, this prevents misunderstandings, overlapping appointments or contradictory statements. The contact person coordinates internally with the ex-partner, but presents a clear and consistent position to the outside world. - Clear allocation of tasks relating to viewings and documents:
Who organises the documents required for the sale, who coordinates the viewings together with the estate agent and who takes care of minor maintenance work before the property is presented ? - Agreement on cost sharing and financial issues:
Whether it’s a possible estate agent’s commission, property gains tax, early repayment compensation or minor repairs: a transparent agreement on the assumption of costs avoids disputes later on. This way, everyone knows from the outset what share they will pay.
5. never without: a price in line with the market
Especially in divorce or separation situations, it can be observed time and again that the sales prices are set unrealistically high. There are often psychological reasons for this: The pain of separation is to be compensated for by a high selling price (as if the separation of the sellers would interest the potential buyers in any way) or – quite perfidiously – one party sets the selling price so high that a buyer can never be found (and the perhaps unfamiliar separation from partner or house) is delayed.
For independent property valuation experts (such as the federally certified valuation experts from the Swiss Property Owners Association), such constellations are part of everyday life and do not influence the valuation in any way. After all, the sole purpose of a property valuation is to determine the most realistic sales price possible.
6. match deciding: The right pricing strategy
Only an intelligent pricing strategy leads to optimum sales success and what sounds simple is often anything but trivial. The following pricing strategies are available to choose from and not all of them are promising:
Fixed price: The sale is made at a predefined price
Bidding process: The sale is made to the highest bidder
Silent bidding procedure: Only with the Swiss Landowners Association
Starting price too high: The price is deliberately (or unconsciously) set too high
Starting price too low: The price is deliberately (or unconsciously) set too low
Price on request: No price is communicated publicly
No price: A price is never communicated and potential buyers have to submit an offer without being able to orientate themselves on a price target
7. buyer’s commission and free marketing as a liberating blow for separation sales
Particularly in the case of separation or divorce properties, the focus is on maximising the net proceeds. At the same time, there are often no financial resources available (or there is disagreement about their use) to maximise the success of the sales process. The result is significantly reduced proceeds from the sale, which has a negative financial impact for the period after the separation and restricts future room for manoeuvre.
In such a situation, the model of buyer’s commission and full assumption of marketing costs of the Swiss Property Owners Association provides a remedy. The buyer pays the brokerage commission and the estate agent finances all marketing costs for the seller.
A little psychology at the end: Why a fresh start is good for you
A break-up is often accompanied by strong emotions: Disappointment, anger or even sadness about what is lost. This makes it all the more important to let go of old baggage and look to the future. A house or a shared flat is a daily reminder of times gone by and can unconsciously create the feeling of being trapped in old patterns. A clear farewell – for example by selling the property – creates space for a real new beginning.
From a psychological point of view, this step is very important. As soon as the symbol of the old relationship disappears, you gain distance from past conflicts and create space for something new. This can help you to develop your own identity more independently and no longer remain stuck in the role of the “ex-partner”. At the same time, the spatial change supports the process of emotional processing: instead of being reminded of past disputes or missed opportunities every time you look at your four walls, a free space is created in which you can reorient yourself.
Ultimately, a clean break makes it easier to take many further steps on the path to the future – whether that’s a new home, a different approach to life or completely new goals. Those who have the courage to put their past behind them will often be rewarded with a more relaxed inner attitude and can better focus their energy on shaping their own life in a self-determined way.
Case study: The shared property as a pledge
Shortly after getting married, Mrs A. and Mr B. are able to buy a reasonably priced terraced house from the 1970s in a popular urban suburb. A few years later, the relationship breaks down and Mr B. ends up moving into a small rented flat, while Mrs A. stays in the house with the two children. The divorce proceedings are extremely difficult and both partners hire lawyers. Atypically, the partner who stays in the house (Mrs A.) wants to sell the property, while Mr B wants to keep the house in the hope of a comeback.
In the meantime, Mr B has lost his job, can no longer pay maintenance and mortgage interest and the bank is threatening to foreclose on the house. In distress, Mrs A turns to the Swiss Landowners Association and together they work out the following strategy:
- The house is both jointly and individually unsustainable.
- A forced sale is extremely negative for both parties, as only a reduced sale price can be expected in an auction.
- The husband refuses to accept a solution and is not prepared to sign a brokerage contract, even though the model offered by the landowner’s association of the buyer’s commission and assumption of all marketing costs would not require any direct outlay from the sellers.
- The wife concludes a brokerage agreement without her husband.
- The value of the house is increased before it goes on the market by means of value enhancement measures pre-financed by the Landowners’ Association and, thanks to very high demand, a bidding process can be carried out.
- The purchase price offered by the highest bidder exceeds all expectations and a purchase contract is drawn up at the notary’s office. The big question remains: will the husband go ahead with the sale or will he continue on his self-destructive path?
- In the end, the husband’s lawyer is able to convince his client that he can start his new life with around half a million in liquidity and the sale finally takes place after all.
- In the meantime, Mrs A. and Mr B. have found new partners and jobs and Mr B. has even been able to buy a condominium again. The wife prefers to remain a tenant.
Conclusion: If former partners even fight against their own interests, it becomes very difficult. The liberating blow was the wife’s decision to call in professional help and present Mr B. with an (almost) fait accompli. Instead of losing the house in a forced sale, both of them now have a lot of starting capital for their new life
FAQ
Do I have to ask my ex-partner for permission if I want to sell the property?
If both parties are registered as owners in the land register, the consent of both parties is mandatory. If no agreement can be reached, legal action may be necessary. A sale without the consent of all owners is not possible.
What happens to the current mortgage in the event of a separation?
As a rule, both borrowers remain jointly liable for the mortgage. If one of the partners remains in the property, in most cases they must obtain a so-called release of the other from the loan agreement and settle their claims. Alternatively, the joint property can also be sold, whereby the proceeds are usually used to pay off the remaining debt. It is important to seek dialogue with the bank or financial institution at an early stage.
Should I try to take over the house on my own instead of selling it?
This may be an option if you can cope with the financial burden on your own. However, bear in mind that the ex-partner usually has to receive a compensation payment. Running costs and maintenance should also be clearly calculated to avoid getting into financial difficulties.
Does it make sense to rent out the property as a temporary solution?
In some cases, this can be a short-term option if an immediate sale is out of the question for emotional or economic reasons. However, this leaves joint responsibilities (e.g. maintenance, tenant search, billing), which can continue to harbour conflicts between the ex-partners. A sale is usually the better solution.
Expert tip
Create emotional distance
Try to see the property not just as a former home, but as an object for sale. An objective view will help you to act swiftly and not pursue exaggerated price expectations.
Hold discussions with the bank
An open discussion with the bank is advisable, especially if there is still a current loan. Consider how the remaining debt will be paid off, whether debt rescheduling makes sense or whether a partner can take on the financing alone.
Create emotional distance
Try to see the property not just as a former home, but as an object for sale. An objective view will help you to act swiftly and not pursue exaggerated price expectations
